You do not see me writing much about politics. But I actually used to be a “crazy chicken” before.
I did not knit or crochet in the past week. Instead I spend most of my time on Facebook and one of the Ravelry forums. I felt a compelling need to talk and write about the Itamar Massacre.
You can read more about it here.
The thing that got to me most was the indifference expressed by so many. I think that with all my efforts I have almost succeeded in getting myself banned from that particular forum. But I am not sure if I accomplished anything positive.
When I was 19 my Mother got me out of Russia just a bit ahead of the cops. I was very much involved with the political actions. We were going to help build a better and brighter Russia and educate “the Masses”.
Having safely come to the US (also very much against my will) I have seen what happened to my friends who stayed. Most of them are dead now and the rest… Well, let’s just say that the ideals are certainly dead.
So for many, many years I made sure to stay away from politics. I did not want to feel “unnecessary” pain of the victims or think about corrupt politicians. I have actually prided myself on not even having a radio or reading the newspapers. I told myself, that all that belongs to the world outside. I have created my special, small world, and yes, being Orthodox Jew have certainly helped. I told myself that I did not need the big world outside. My little place was not a paradise. We lived in a very unsafe part of Crown Heights (Brooklyn, NY) and I had trouble enough dealing with that.
Then we came to Israel. And it was good. We have landed in the small comunity that is very, very friendly. The vehicular traffic is low and the streets are very safe. All of the sudden we could let the kids go outside. And not worry about them (at least in theory, becouse I still worry), we could take a walk at 3 A.M. if we felt like it or go for a Friday night meal and walk back through town with little kids in tow at 11 p.m.
What happened last Friday has shattered this illusion of safety. All of a sudden it became impotant for me to let other people know what is happening while they are not willing to expose themselves to “every tragedy”.
I have been sitting and thinking what is it that made me post on this specific forum, I could have gone to the much friendlier place. The answer is, that, first of all, this is the biggest Jewish forum on Ravelry. And I wanted to be heard by as many people as possible.
The second answer is, that most people there so much remind me of me. They bend over backwards to be fair to all, even to the detriment of other Jews. Because pure ideals are more important than individuals. And they do not want to hear bad news so they would not “feel suasidal”.
At this point I feel that I have worked through this anger, I also know that I was able to tell a few people who did not know before so now is the time for something positive.
And the first thing to do is to stop being angry with myself and do something positive, like make a huge salad.